The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Cheaters
However, according to Croydon Private Investigator Jorge Salgado-Reyes – a man who specialises in catching people “at it” – there are certain things you can do to reduce your chances of being found out:
(1) Get a pay-as-you-go phone: mobile phone records are now the #1 way cheaters get caught. Pay-as-you-go means no itemised bills and, if you delete flirty texts and your call records, you’ll cover your phone tracks.
(2) Give your lover a fake name: suspicious partners are likely to go through your phone contacts, but they’re unlikely to pay much attention to someone of your gender, so store your lover’s number under a fake name of your own sex.
(3) Don’t say you’re working late: two reasons: firstly, it’s the oldest line in the book, secondly, if you’re always working but not bringing home more money, it’s going to raise suspicions.
(4) Get a friend on board: a night out with a mate is the perfect cover story. Get a trusted friend to help cover your tracks by providing regular alibis.
(5) Treat your partner the same way: people who are being unfaithful tend to start treating their partners differently. They either turn off their affection or they overcompensate and act more affectionately (e.g. flowers for no reason, when they hadn’t done that in years).
According to Jorge, “unless the cheater is a sociopath, he or she will treat their partner differently. But, it’s all a question of degree: some people have far more self-awareness and self-control – better actors, basically – and they’re the ones that are best at hiding affairs.”
(6) Don’t change your appearance: when someone starts an affair, they’re often tempted to dress differently or take more care over their appearance. If this is combined with acting differently towards your partner, it’s increases the suspicion that something’s going on.
(7) Deny everything: love can make fools of us all and most of us want to believe the best of the person we love. Without concrete evidence and faced with a resolute denial, your partner can often be convinced that it’s “all in his or her head”.
Do these seven things and you’ll hide many of the most common signs of cheating.
However, will you still get away with it?
According to Jorge Salgado-Reyes, “in my line of work, I’ve learned two things about infidelity. Firstly, I’ve seen the hurt and suffering experienced by the victims. Secondly, I’ve seen how difficult it is to hide an affair.”
And his real advice for cheaters?
“Don’t do it. It’s likely to destroy your relationship, cause lasting damage to your partner, and your kids if you have any, it will create resentment that’ll linger and you’ll be burdened by feelings of guilt … it’s just not worth it.
“Ask yourself ‘would I do this if I knew I’d be caught’. If the answer is ‘no’, don’t do it.
“Because, if you do cheat, and your partner hires me, you will be caught!”